whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Sober January is a disaster.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he high fived his dick after we had sex
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
