Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
