the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
