The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
