I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
