R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
