If that was your dad, he is hot
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
