their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
