I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
