TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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