I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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