how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
