i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
