I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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