That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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