I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
