Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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