what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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