When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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