Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
