Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
