the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
