Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
