R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
