O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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