Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
