The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
