drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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