thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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