ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
