Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Me too!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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