This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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