I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
