i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
