You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
