dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
