I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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