Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
