You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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