Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
