it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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