the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize