why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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