Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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