she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
