Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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