Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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