I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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