my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
