I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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