You just made me feel so damn special
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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