508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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