No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My pussy is not your playground.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
