dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
