Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
