I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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