We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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