i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
