The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
