thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
