I cockslap morals
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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