Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
