I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
